Friday, May 10, 2013

Happy Mother's Day!

This Sunday (at least Downunder) it's Mother's Day.  A commercial gimmick, yes, and one that normally I don't worry too much about, as a mother.  But I always recognised it for my mother and loved the fact that she had a special day.  And, of course, there's Father's Day, and, bless him, he never really minded another pair of socks, or a plastic-handled screwdriver.

In a way, it's really more important for the children than it is for the parents - and it gives them something to think about!

So every year I get a card and a box of chocolate-coated almonds from my daughter - the one with PWS. In spite of, or probably because of, her disability around food, it's the one thing she loves to share and buy for others.  Fortuitously, all these gifts have arrived uneaten.  So far.  But it's the card I love best.  It usually says the same thing, but it still makes me a little teary when reading it:

"MUM!!
Happy Mother's Day.   It may not seem like this to you in the 28 years you've had to put up with me.  I know it hasn't been easy and we've had a few really troubled times.  But every second of the Day you've been there for us kids, especially me.  There has never been a second that you've wanted to Give up on me or the other two.  Mum Ure the BEST and I couldn't have asked for a better Mum.  Words cannot express how much you mean to me, your love and support unfaulting.  I couldn't have had a Better Mum than you.  Thanks Mum.
Love for ever"

I'm pretty sure my daughter is not unique in her effusion for her mother.  There does seem to be a really strong bond between the child with PWS and his or her parent(s).  Usually it's the mother who holds that bond, for some reason.  Often the two parents are played off against each other and, with the limited understanding of the child, it becomes "love you/hate you" when simmering point is reached.  But, no matter what the situation (and I see, this year, my daughter has lifted the level to "really troubled times"... with good reason...), there is this undying love expressed in a way that only they can.

The "troubled times", although extremely difficult, have to be assigned to the syndrome and, if possible, not to the child.  Hard as it is to let the issue go, if you can eventually see past the trouble and recognise the vulnerable child underneath (no matter what their age), then this is your reward.

So, to all the mothers around the world, no matter what the day, "happy mother's day" to you!

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