A Question I Wasn't Expecting!

By M.H.

 

Last week my 11 year old son, who has PWS, asked me a question.  In his usual fashion the question was delivered in a meandering, unnecessarily long-winded way (why use 1 sentence when 5 will do?).  Nonetheless, his point was clear.  He wanted to know if a man who underwent sex reassignment surgery to transition to a woman would still have PWS after the process was complete.

I quickly informed him (reassured him? disappointed him?) that yes, PWS would withstand the process and would remain present.  I enquired why he was asking and he told me he was just wondering.  And then the conversation moved on.

Still, it's an interesting question.

My first instinct (when he was out of earshot of course) was to laugh.  Was this a typical pre-teen assumption that one's parents must be dim?  Had he experienced an Eureka moment in the middle of the night and assumed that his Mom and Dad had somehow missed this "obvious" way of getting PWS out of his life?  Had he mulled it over and  concluded that transitioning to a woman would be a price worth paying?  Of course, he made the obvious mistake of thinking that such a procedure would be a simple choice, rather than a necessary and complicated process required to correct the problems that occur when some individuals' assigned sex at birth does not correspond to the gender with which they identify.

 

Or should I interpret the question as a poignant one, a grasping at straws by a child who has reaching an understanding that he does not like having PWS and is mentally thrashing around in the hope of finding a way of getting rid of it?

Or is it a coming to terms with just how fundamental a part of his being PWS is - even more fundamental than his sex?

Or is it best viewed as an illustration of how little he (and most of us) understand about genetics?  In his head he reasonably connected PWS (something to do with genetics) with sex (something to do with genetics).

One of the oft-reported traits of PWS is repetitive or excessive questioning.  I get that too.  Sometimes I feel that I know what my son is going to ask before he even opens his mouth.  There are days when I feel like an unwilling participant in a bad school play, compelled to listen to one set of lines time and again and to deliver another set in return. 

My son only asked me this question once.  Considering his age and limited understanding of genetics, PWS and gender dysphoria I think it was a pretty good question too.  And I'm glad that sometimes he leaves the script behind.